


Survivor's Guilt

by lilithtorch2



Series: CA2TWS Speculations [6]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Denial, Gen, Guilt, survivor's guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-19
Updated: 2014-03-19
Packaged: 2018-01-16 07:37:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1337341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilithtorch2/pseuds/lilithtorch2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You hear those stories about Captain America saving lives. “I’m so glad he was right there or I would have died.” “He singlehandedly fought against HYDRA.”</p><p>What you don’t hear are those stories where Steve Rogers failed.</p><p>And Steve Rogers had failed Bucky Barnes.</p><p>He had to live with that knowledge.</p><p>He was probably better off dead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Survivor's Guilt

**Author's Note:**

> Dream Theater - The Enemy Inside

You hear those stories about Captain America saving lives. “I’m so glad he was right there or I would have died.” “He singlehandedly fought against HYDRA.”

What you don’t hear are those stories where Steve Rogers failed.

And Steve Rogers had failed Bucky Barnes.

He had to live with that knowledge.

He was probably better off dead.

He was Captain America, and Captain America could do everything. So why couldn’t he have reached farther for Bucky’s hand, jumped, used his superhuman strength to keep the train from falling apart? Or maybe he should have fallen from the train instead, but at least he would have done it saving Bucky. Bucky thought he would be forgotten now that Steve was Captain America, superhero, but he should have assured him one more time that he would never forget the boy who stood up for him. He could have admitted that even though he didn’t need Bucky to beat people up for him that he really needed Bucky’s help. He could have said ‘thank you for fighting by my side.’

He could have said that he was still the same old Steve Rogers, the same old kid from Brooklyn.

He could have died as long as he made sure that Bucky was still alive.

Steve had to live with this story of Bucky Barnes that no one told.

So Fate just had to rub it in one more time of everything he had done, everything he didn’t do.

Whoever that was, he wore Bucky’s face. He used Bucky’s face to hurt people. This wasn’t Bucky; he was ten times better than someone like Tony Stark, he was a good man with a good heart, and this person…this person was none of that.

It wasn’t Bucky. Couldn’t be. Yeah he had the blue eyes, but the hair was too long. Besides, this one was – what did Natasha call it? – a Winter Soldier, a revenant born from the snow. A ruthless killer.

Was that really Bucky?

Fate was one bully he couldn’t fight, and it was cruelly using his own weaknesses against him. That couldn’t be Bucky. There was no way he’d been frozen in ice as well. Why didn’t Bucky remember him? He didn’t even look like Bucky. He wasn’t the Bucky he knew. There were too many scars. Was there something Steve had overlooked? Was Bucky always like this before and he just never noticed? Some parts certainly seemed like Bucky: the way he carried himself, the way he shot, but that couldn’t be possible.

That was impossible.

Right?


End file.
